For the past year (and for the rest of this year) my boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship, he lives at home in London and I live at university in Norwich. Anyone out there who has to be away from their loved one for a long period of time will know how difficult it can be. I have come to found however that when things are difficult the best thing to do is try and find a positive spin on it which, in this case, happens to be writing a satirical (but oddly relatable) 6 steps of a long distance relationship…
1. The hard goodbye stage
You’ve just spent a weekend with your partner that was so perfect it was like something out of a Nicholas Sparks novel (well the happy chapters), but now they have to leave. You find yourself playing all the tricks to get them to stay – guilting them, bribing them, wrapping yourself around their legs like a koala to a tree but it doesn’t work. After a long hug goodbye they eventually wriggle free and are gone for another few weeks. Stage one is the hardest.
2. The I’m going to be okay stage
This is the stage where you channel your inner girl boss who doesn’t need anyone else. You keep yourself busy, you tick everything off that to do list and not even a loss of Instagram followers can bring you down – you’re unstoppable! On the phone to your other half the only tears that reach your eyes are those of laughter when you reminisce about the weekend just gone because you are the epitome of positivity. You’re going to be okay I mean its only 3 more weeks that’ll fly by, right?
3. The I just want to stay in bed and cry stage
Wrong. All of a sudden it’s like a dark cloud comes over your bubbly little life and all you want to do is live in a blanket fort of sadness. There isn’t enough Ben and Jerrys in the world to get you out of this rut and you start googling if its possible for a human to hibernate, at least that way you could sleep away the lonely weeks. Just as you’re about to pull yourself together your significant other sends you a snapchat and their cute little face turns on the water works, more tissues please!
4. The jealously stage
This is the stage to avoid at all costs if possible. You get jealous of everything and everyone that comes into contact with your partner. Not because you think they’re being unfaithful but because how is it fair that the postman gets to see their face everyday but you don’t. The Labrinth song about being jealous of the wind becomes your life motto and when your partners mum texts you about something funny they did you find yourself growling at your phone in envy.
5. The countdown till I see them again stage
This is like christmas come early. Only 3 days to go then you get to see them again (they should really make advent calendars for events like this!) You countdown the sleeps and start planning out the few days you have with them to make every second count. If anyone asks you what your plans are for the weekend you find yourself screaming “MY PARTNER IS COMING” in their now scared looking face. The last few hours feel like a lifetime, no amount of bingewatching netflix will make the time go quicker so you find yourself sat staring at the door in anticipation. 3 hours, 2 hours, 1 hour….
6. The best day of your life so far stage
This is it, what you’ve been waiting for. As soon as that door opens you pounce on them and vow that you’re not letting go of them for the whole weekend. All of a sudden the past 3 weeks vanish from your memory and everything in the world feels right again. Your carefully thought out plans don’t work out but who cares because you get to hold onto the most important person in the world to you. If you had to sit in a cardboard box for the whole weekend you wouldn’t care because at least you’re sitting with them. The the inevitable happens. It’s Sunday night. They have to leave Here we go again…
I hope you enjoyed this post and if you’ve been through a long distance relationship I hope you found it relatable in some way (maybe not quite as dramatic though!)
Go and grab another cuppa on me, Em x
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